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April 3rd, 2005

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April 2nd, 2005

02:49 am I can not communicate with you anymore. With anyone for that matter. You are numb, how can you not notice that? I wish things never changed. I wish people could just stay the same. Instead they just become more distanced. Why does it always happen to me? Current Mood: weird Current Music: Exploding hearts- I'm a pretender

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March 30th, 2005

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March 27th, 2005

04:15 pm Today, I did a foolish thing. I found out a few things that should have been told to my face other than on the net to people who hardly know me. I feel as my best friend betrayed me. When I read what I read I felt as little needles were stabbing me from the inside, I wanted to get away so hard, to stay in denial. I really wish I could understand my mistakes, and understand why am i not a good human but as I type these words the needles are coming back coming out as tears. I'm a poetic fuck. Maybe that is why she dislikes me. I should really talk to her about some of the things she said but I don't want to wreck anything. Too late. It seems as if the only thing i got left is to act as nothing happened. it will be easier to keep everything as normal. It's only 4pm and i'm already feeling as shit, I don't know how the rest of the day going to go, I guess I should be sleeping it away. PS- Thank you Robert for giving me a shoulder to lean on. Current Mood: Upset Current Music: Tegan and sarah- Where does the good go

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March 25th, 2005

01:15 am - YO It took my 5 hours to get the black out, NUTS. Current Mood: What the fuck is chipper? Current Music: Peneration- Dont dictate

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March 20th, 2005

09:31 pm - As a rock n roll star... Devendra Banhart has no right to do a cover to a Johnny Thunders songs. He completely wrecked it. Dumb ass. I've been okay.. I really have been. On friday, I hung out with my dad. Went to the show... It was interesting from what I remember. I was drunk and stupid. I puked some pretty attractive stuff. I bet everyone liked it. On saturday we went to the Roasterie.. We staid there for 4 hours and I had some of the best time i experienced in a while. It was amazing, me Lisa and the emo boy had a nice conversations... The one that leaves you with good mood and understanding. Sundays blow. I should finish my homework. Good night. Current Mood: okay Current Music: David Bowie- Star

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March 17th, 2005

12:19 am I hate being awake. I hate thinking too much. I hate boys. I hate boys who like pretty girls. I hate not being a pretty girl. I hate wishing to be a pretty girl. I hate pretty girls. I will rule. I fuckin will. Current Mood: angry Current Music: the boys- kiss like a nun

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March 16th, 2005

04:54 pm - Man o man Thirteen random things you like: 01) Music 02) Vanilla 03) Intertetetettet 04) Nicotine 05) Whiskey 06) lisa&Jynelle 07) Slurpies 08) Playing jingle bells on my guitar 09) My dogs 10) Pretending i'm a rock star 11) Sleeping 12) Socks 13) Sun Twelve movies: 01) Alice in wonderland. 02) Pulp Fiction 03) Kill Bill 04) Jackie Brown 05) Four rooms 06) God said ha 07) Night at the Roxbury 08) Natural born killers 09) Gia 10) Drunk punch love 11) The virgin suicides 12) Cry- baby Eleven Good Friends Shit son, 11? I got two. Lisa&Jynelle. Ten things about me ... physically: 01) Green eyes. 02) My bangs change colours often. 03) Light eyebrows. 04) Tall. 05) Vertical labret. 06) Navel peirced. 07) Ears streched to 4-2ga. 08) Light skin. 09) Lips dry easily. 10) Weird shaped nose. Nine random words: 01) Dance 02) Pink 03) Snow 04) Hair 05) LOLZ 06) Itchy 07) Romance 08) Sick 09) Die Eight favourite foods/drinks: 01) Whiskey 02) Iced tea 03) Letuce 04) Chips 05) Pizza 06) Subway 07) Hot chocolate 08) Veggie buritto Seven things in your daily routine: 01) Sleep 02) Brush my teeth 03) Pet my dog 04) Computer 05) Music 06) Look at my guiter and think why am i not a rock star 07) Paint Six things that annoy you: 01) Snow 02) Corn 03) Most people 04) My mom 05) Girls 06) Bjork Five things you touch everyday: 01) Cigarettes 02) Key board 03) My hair 04) My face 05) My dogs Four shows you watch: 01) Dr.Phil 02) Oprah 03) Trailer park boys 04) Gilmore girls Three People you have a crush on: 01) Stiv bators 02) The guy from the heartattacks LOLZZZZZZZZZ 03) Scene boys with nice smiles. Two things you Hate: 01) School 02) My mom One thing you love: 01) MUSIC&LISA&JYNELLE. Current Mood: cold Current Music: stiv bators - it´s cold outside

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March 13th, 2005

08:56 pm - Oral. So this weekend... This weekend has been pretty cool i must say. On friday met up with Jynelle went and bought ciggs and was on our way to meet Becky. It's weird, because Jeff would say the dumbest things about her (only because she's his ex), which are obviously false sayings. We continued our way to Value Village. Later on to the roast, till she had to leave, and me and Jynelle went our way to Kyle's house. It was nuts. Sometimes you don't expect people to be nice, but those kids were extremely nice. Sitting, drinking with no worries felt good. Till we had to leave. Damn it why does he have to leave so far away. The next day, it seems like everyone all of a sudden got a job and decided to take shifts on saturday. Stupid. Me and Jynelle ran into Ryder and Tyler and had a smoke and coffee with them. I finished my whiskey at Kyle's and watched south park. That kid is cool. Too bad I don't see him that often. Jynelle stole a cat from Kyle's community and brought him to his house. Kyle freaked out. Meanie. Hmm Jynelle's sister got a new cam so i guess PICTCHUA TIME. ( oral sex and smokers breath ) Current Mood: calm Current Music: Atmosphere- Like today

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March 10th, 2005

11:39 pm - Dance to the music. You like shitty people. I can't blame you though, you get lonely and annoyed by me pretty easy. As most do. Suck ass weekend plans. I hate plans though. Once I get my fake from Mike I will go to strip bars and rent me and Jynelle crazy cars. Some people should die... No. Most people should die. I love my Jynelley poo. Lets get married. With my european citizen we are going to move to England. I will have a fresh beginning. I will be a confused artist who will play in shitty clubs, you will be a make up artist as you always wished for. We will adopt babies, and sleep around. Come home, and tell each other how bad they were and how we wished for a true love. Nah, not really. Love can suck my balls. I have lust in me waiting to be leased boy, and i am not scared to show you that. I discover so many crazy stuff everyday. I know all of their secrets and they will never find out about it. I am not blind, and from what i have seen, you ain't that cool. Never die old. Current Mood: confused Current Music: The vibrators- Whips and furs.

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March 8th, 2005

11:59 pm From the moment we are born, we are sucked into a huge machine. Endless devices designed to envelope and administrate all aspects of our life. It never spits us out. It has plans for the state of our living and fit accommodations for our death. And we can't escape it. It holds all the options, fanatically. It has chewed up freedom and force feeds us it, half digested. We are not allowed to stay up through its night of thin meaning or peek into its dark bedroom of delusion. It has made arrangements for every move we can make. Provides us with illness and remedy, cheap guidance at varying degrees of sadness and as many bland flavors as you like. And this empty affluence intoxicates us. We are trapped in an equation in which we are forever a factor and never the sum - the answer. It's all calculated all indifferent math of sharp, harsh supply and soft, human demand. Behold - The ceaseless workings of the dynamo of civilization. Its factories throwing up the fabric of our life like thick brown smoke. And the stars above creaking in their grooves in the sad machinery of night. Building our houses, making our shoes, shaping our words, printing our books, pouring our coffee, tailoring our lives to the latest fashion, aesthetic and ethic and dumb. Leaving nothing unanswered. But the most basic need for immediate human truth. Current Mood: weird Current Music: slaughter & the dogs- where did all the boot boys go

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01:05 am I wrote this huge ass entry about emptiness, awkwardness, anti social, meeting new people, Elliott smith and spring break. I hope LJ dies. Now you can only guess what I wrote or try talking to me about what is going through my mind personally will help too. Dear diary, eat a booger. Love, Iris. Current Mood: sick Current Music: Elliott Smith- The biggest lie

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March 5th, 2005

12:24 pm So this weekend, was kind of a bore. Nothing excited. I got my vertical labret pierced. I had to wait for my mom for 40 mins, till she got off work, in 17th ave. while i was witnessing a drug dealing in front of me. After that I went to Lisa's. We went to Shawnessy on friday. First we went to Wendy's. I ordered the "fresh" fruit bowl, such a rip off; the thing was haf fulled with lettuce. WTF. Sick. The we got bored, so we were like "OMG TEEN NIGHT AT THE Y". Blah. Boring. On saturday, Jynelle joined us and we went to sunnyside. We went to the roast and to Riley. Yupp... I really think next weekend should be exciting to the max. New Hair and piercing LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ OMFGZ SO KEWL Current Mood: bored Current Music: the cavities- lucy don't love me

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February 28th, 2005

11:10 pm The conversation i had with Lisa about me being a matriel girl, really effected me. I have been thinking about it for the past week, and i can not agree more with it. Pathetic. I got into a fight with the only people who actually hung out with me at school. They are a bunch of whiny bitches, and i'm upset i have to see them every school day for seven hours. My dad is coming back into town on friday. He better get me something. I am still waiting for my shit to arrive. Current Mood: meh... Current Music: Buzzcocks- orgasm addict

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